Well, today concluded our first week of homeschooling for the 2009-2010 year. It went pretty well, I'm surprised. But not because I was ill-prepared or because my children are hard to deal with, or anything like that. It was because ...well, life happens. And when life happens it has no respect for your sleek excel spreadsheets with your NEW schedules or all the hours you put into planning and preparing.
I was so nervous this time for some reason. Last week we just returned from a much needed sabbath rest. Shame on us for taking so long to get that rest. My husband and I were running on fumes. We were beyond burnt out. Our "love banks" were running dangerously low. So sorry for the ones who tried to make withdrawals. My responses were screaming, "OVERDRAFT! OVERDRAFT!" Not nice.
But after some rest and relaxation and some time spent with the One who loves my soul, I felt revived. It's so good to take a sabbath rest. My cup was again filled to overflowing and I was ready to get back in the game. So why on the eve before starting school again, was I feeling so anxious and nervous?
The answer didn't really hit me until I sat down at this computer to type. I was so anxious because I was afraid that my newly restored peace would be whisked away in the day to day tasks of life. I mean, the schedule being interrupted by a lovely but cranky, teething 7 month old, laundry, poopy cloth diapers (icky!!), tears because of math problems, cooking, tears because of failed cartwheels,"Mommy" being yelled from all 4 corners of the house, etc, etc, etc. Oh, I wanted to hold on to my peace and my overflowing cup. I didn't want to give it away. No, I just got it back. In one hand was my nice new schedules, lesson plans, and my illusion of the "perfect" home school day, and in the other was "LIFE". As I looked (figuratively) at the two, I knew there was ultimately going to be a clash. And that clash was going to cost me some of my overflowing cup. The life that God had restored in me was going to be called upon, asked for, pulled on, and used up. It hurt to even think about it.
But......God is faithful. More than once this week, I had to stop and ask my Heavenly Father to guard my heart against frustration. He gently reminded me to be anxious for nothing...to think on these things (Philippians 4). And as I write this blog I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 9:10 (ESV): He that supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. The context of this scripture is talking about the giving of money, but as parents we give of our lives in so many ways. Here we learn that God is the One who supplies what we have to give and not only so, but multiplies it so that we can give more, and more, and more. He increases the "harvest" of our righteousness. All those prayers that we pray for our children for their education, for their future, for their attitudes, for their salvation: Increase. So I need not be scared to sow bountifully the peace, joy, strength, and love that He freely gives to me. I've got to give it away and be willing to be spent for this, the next generation.
So, by God's grace, this week was better than great. There was most definitely a clash between my schedules/plans and life. But God was so faithful to minister to me as I ministered to my husband and children. As I gave up my love, time, energy, and strength, He was faithful to fill me up again. I love Him. We serve an awesome God.
Part 2: I will share some of the practical wisdom that God has given me to make my days run a little smoother and with more joy and peace in my heart and home. I'd like to also share some of the rewards I receive from my children's lives and how God uses them to minister grace to me.
Thanks to my friend, Annissa Roland for the "Little School House" title.
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