How the word "BUT" changed my life

Eight days left in our negativity fast, let's learn from the master encourager. And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice saying to me in the Hebrew language, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?" It is hard for you to kick against the goads (something that pains as if by pricking)? And I said, "Who are you Lord? And the Lord said, " I am Jesus whom you are persecuting."BUT rise and stand to your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and a witness to the things for which you have seen me and to those to which I will appear to you, delivering you from your people and from the Gentiles--to whom I am sending you to open their eyes, so they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me." Acts 26: 14-18

Jesus is such an awesome encourager. I mean, He IS the Word made flesh, but in reading Acts and the story of Paul's conversion as told by himself to King Agrippa, I was suddenly reaquainted with the word BUT, and the power of it when spoken from the mouth of God. Paul was a horrible persecuter of the early believers of Christ. He threw them in prisom, chased them to foreign cities, and voted for their death by stoning. He made the naming of Jesus, a crime.
The Lord reminds Saul of this, as He reveals Himself to him on the road to Damascus. And the Lord said, "I am Jesus whom you are persecuting." vs. 15. However, at this point the Lord uses the most powerful and significant word that He has spoken to any of us that have ever lived a life as an enemy of God.( Note: that would be......All of us *smile*)BUT rise stand to your feet for I have appeared to you for this purpose,". vs. 16. I am certain that Saul was relieved to hear these words. Jesus did not ignore the fact that Paul had sinned against Him, but despite Saul's very recent past, He willingly called Saul to a new life in Him. That word, BUT, followed by the Lord's purpose for Saul's (soon to be Paul's) life, changed his course . Now we owe to Paul, two-thirds of the New Testament and an example of faithful discipleship in Jesus.

BUT. As I approach my 16th spiritual birthday, I am thinking back on how that word has altered my life. I was an enemy of God, living for myself, a fornicator, a hater, selfish, a liar, a brawler , a curser, a drunkard, a glutton, unfaithful, un-loving..... the list could go on and on. BUT GOD. But He appeared to me for this purpose: to make me His daughter, a women of faith, a loving, supportive, and faithful wife, a gentle and nurturing mother, an encourager, a servant, a life-giver, a friend, a truth seeker, a truth speaker, gracious, loving, a woman that fears Him, a woman of peace.........the list could go on and on by His abundant grace. Praise be to God for His mercy and His love toward us. I am so very thankful that the Lord would look at my sins, call me to repentance, and by the power of His word speak life over me. How humbling to think that God would make my life to bring Him glory and cause others to know Him and to find their place among those that are sanctified by faith in Him. He is an awesome God!!!

How has the word BUT , spoken from the Lord's mouth, altered your life? I would love to hear how Christ has altered your direction, your purpose, your plans, your family tree. Please share.

30 Day Negativity Fast: Sweetness of the Lips

"The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and the sweetness of the lips increases learning." Proverbs 16:21

God's word has an answer for everything. Everything. Did I say everything? This is going to be short and sweet (pun intended).

Is there something, anything, that you have been trying to teach your child, that they just don't seem to be getting. Math facts, obedience, a basketball skill, diligence, how to clean the toilet correctly, respect, being a leader, making their bed, public speaking, confidence, how to ride a bike, etc. Is there anything you are trying to teach your children and they just don't seem to be getting it? If so, listen. God has the answer.

Have you checked your approach. Have you moved from excitement in teaching your child a new skill to frustration and discouragement? The Lord says, that "Sweetness of the lips increases learning". Be sweet. That's the Lord's wisdom. When you have taught that same math fact, 50 times. Be sweet. Speak words that will build them up and encourage them. When the bed is supposedly made and the floor supposedly swept. Correct, but be sweet. When you know that the Lord has placed within your child great potential, but they are not doing their part to live up to that potential, be sweet. Praise them for what they are doing.
Who would take the Lord at His word today? I challenge you to speak sweet words. I'd love to hear the testimonies of how the Lord honors His word and your obedience. Be sweet - today.

30 Day Negativity Fast: Overcoming the Flesh

Matthew 26: 41 "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Okay, I am not sure about all of you that have taken up the 30 Day Negativity Fast, but I have never found the above mentioned scripture to be so true. I am so much more aware of what is coming out of my mouth. I have mentioned in my blog before, that by nature, I tend to be pessimistic. The first thing I notice in a situation is the wrong and not the right. But even knowing that about myself, I have been a bit surprised at how quickly negative or death filled words slip out of my mouth.

With that being said, I thank God that there is always an answer in His word. He says to, "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation." Every morning I know that if I am going to succeed at speaking words of life (Prov 18:21), planting trees of life in my children's hearts (Prov 15:4), speaking pleasant words that bring healing (Prov 16:24), speaking soft answers that turn away wrath (Prov 15:1), and if I will open my mouth with wisdom and have the law of kindness on my tongue (Prov 31: 26), I need the Lord's strength and encouragement. I need to watch for those same ol' situations that bring out the worst in me and stop and pray and ask the Lord to help me to respond differently. I need to stop frustration in it's tracks by asking the Lord for the wisdom I need to be a life-giver in the midst of my testing. Is it really that simple......yes! Over and over again accessing the Lord - that's what being an overcomer is.

The second part of the verse says, "The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." I am so glad that the Lord knows me. He did say in His word, that in the flesh dwells no good thing. So really, I should not be surprised when those negative and death filled words come to my mind and desire to roll right off my tongue. But the good news is that I do not live after the flesh any longer. As I was reminded this weekend by Kay Arthur: we live and walk by faith in the power of God working in us. We don't owe the flesh anything (Romans 8:12)!

So if any of y'all out there are like me and finding that you needed this fast a little more than you had thought, take heart. Know that your Father in heaven, knows what you have need of. He knows your frame. He made you. Be mindful of the times, situations, and people that tend to steal all your kind words away (smile) and pray. Ask God for wisdom. Ask Him for His strength to overcome the flesh and access the power of His spirit to become a life-giver! It is He that works in you, both to will and to do of His good pleasure!!!

Life in My Little School House Part 2: Some Rewards Come Sooner than You Think

Sweet blessings from my children today.

Thoughtful and encouraging words from my oldest.

He was the leader/organizer of this surprise.

Love notes.

Lots of hugs and kisses.

Appreciation

A clean house when I returned home from the grocery store.
(You don't know what it looked like when I left!)

Banners of Love

Home-made dinner. Restaurant style.

And in between doing all this ....

They finished all their school work today!

God truly is faithful to fill your cup to overflowing.

I love being at home with my children.

No one else in the world I'd rather spend my days with.

Life in My Little School House Part 1: Seed for the Sower

Well, today concluded our first week of homeschooling for the 2009-2010 year. It went pretty well, I'm surprised. But not because I was ill-prepared or because my children are hard to deal with, or anything like that. It was because ...well, life happens. And when life happens it has no respect for your sleek excel spreadsheets with your NEW schedules or all the hours you put into planning and preparing.

I was so nervous this time for some reason. Last week we just returned from a much needed sabbath rest. Shame on us for taking so long to get that rest. My husband and I were running on fumes. We were beyond burnt out. Our "love banks" were running dangerously low. So sorry for the ones who tried to make withdrawals. My responses were screaming, "OVERDRAFT! OVERDRAFT!" Not nice.

But after some rest and relaxation and some time spent with the One who loves my soul, I felt revived. It's so good to take a sabbath rest. My cup was again filled to overflowing and I was ready to get back in the game. So why on the eve before starting school again, was I feeling so anxious and nervous?

The answer didn't really hit me until I sat down at this computer to type. I was so anxious because I was afraid that my newly restored peace would be whisked away in the day to day tasks of life. I mean, the schedule being interrupted by a lovely but cranky, teething 7 month old, laundry, poopy cloth diapers (icky!!), tears because of math problems, cooking, tears because of failed cartwheels,"Mommy" being yelled from all 4 corners of the house, etc, etc, etc. Oh, I wanted to hold on to my peace and my overflowing cup. I didn't want to give it away. No, I just got it back. In one hand was my nice new schedules, lesson plans, and my illusion of the "perfect" home school day, and in the other was "LIFE". As I looked (figuratively) at the two, I knew there was ultimately going to be a clash. And that clash was going to cost me some of my overflowing cup. The life that God had restored in me was going to be called upon, asked for, pulled on, and used up. It hurt to even think about it.

But......God is faithful. More than once this week, I had to stop and ask my Heavenly Father to guard my heart against frustration. He gently reminded me to be anxious for nothing...to think on these things (Philippians 4). And as I write this blog I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 9:10 (ESV): He that supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. The context of this scripture is talking about the giving of money, but as parents we give of our lives in so many ways. Here we learn that God is the One who supplies what we have to give and not only so, but multiplies it so that we can give more, and more, and more. He increases the "harvest" of our righteousness. All those prayers that we pray for our children for their education, for their future, for their attitudes, for their salvation: Increase. So I need not be scared to sow bountifully the peace, joy, strength, and love that He freely gives to me. I've got to give it away and be willing to be spent for this, the next generation.

So, by God's grace, this week was better than great. There was most definitely a clash between my schedules/plans and life. But God was so faithful to minister to me as I ministered to my husband and children. As I gave up my love, time, energy, and strength, He was faithful to fill me up again. I love Him. We serve an awesome God.

Part 2: I will share some of the practical wisdom that God has given me to make my days run a little smoother and with more joy and peace in my heart and home. I'd like to also share some of the rewards I receive from my children's lives and how God uses them to minister grace to me.

Thanks to my friend, Annissa Roland for the "Little School House" title.

Seven months and Seventh Grade

This evening I went to a seminar called "Homeschooling through High School". We're not quite there yet, but as I found out today with a 7th grader, it is time to start planning. I had this funny feeling in my stomach the whole time. Don't know if it was excitement or fear. Really. I didn't feel afraid, but the more the speaker talked about record keeping, college credits, God's purpose for my child's future, high school transcripts, record keeping, Algebra II, Chemistry, financial aid, grants, scholarships, (did I say record keeping??) the greater this funny feeling in my stomach grew. Don't know if it was nausea or butterflies. My baby is growing up.

Then on the other hand, I just celebrated the cutting of a first tooth this week. Baby is 7 months old and we are experiencing with her: crawling, standing up in the crib, attitude, the word "ma ma", funny faces, eating real food, "no no" training, smiles, and did I say attitude. (Smile) As I record these little milestones in my journal, I think....."My baby is growing up."

I can't help but smile as I think of my all my babies and how they are all growing up. The Lord has truly been gracious to me. Gotta enjoy this season; with it's record keeping, attitudes, and all.

Fatigue, Fish, and Fun????

I was so, so, so tired today when we got home from co-op. The children were buzzing with energy, but all I wanted to do was lay down on the floor and take a much deserved nap. Well, since my determined and sweet little 7 month old has now claimed the living room floor as her new domain, that did not happen. Instead I watched her show off her ability to get from point A to point B, cheering her on all the way.

By the time I mustered up enough energy to fix dinner, the boys told me that they had defrosted the fish they caught yesterday in a trout derby and they were planning to gut them. "No, no, no boys!" I know what that meant. It meant I would have to be in the kitchen gutting fish with them. That was absolutely the last thing I wanted to do with my last few hours of the day. Ugh!

But.......after dinner and devotions, I let them gut the fish. I googled "how to clean a trout" and we cleaned, gutted, and skinned fish for the first time....together.

Why did I clean the fish with them? Because I am "SUPERMOM"? Not hardly. Because all day long, all I think about is what fun and messy activity I can do with my children? Well maybe sometimes, but not today. Definitely not today. All I wanted to tell them was to throw the fish in the garbage and call it a day. But nonetheless, I let them clean the fish because I have been challenged with the thought that, on this earth I am going to be spent for something. We are all going to use up our last bit of strength or last bit of time for some worthy or unworthy cause. Why not be spent for my children's or the gospel's sake. In this case, I dragged myself to the kitchen and I built memories with my children. They now know, thanks to Google and YouTube, how to clean and cook the fish they catch. This is a part of preparing them for life. God even blessed me with a small spurt of excitement and enthusiasm, just in time to get fish juice in my eye. Yuck!!

I am still going to go to bed good and tired tonight, but now I will be good, tired and satisfied knowing that I added to my love list today.

By the way, Renee Ellison is a wife, mom, teacher, and home school speaker. Her e-book "Burn Out" is what I have been reading for encouragement these days. Her website is www.homeschoolhowtos.com

Pray for the wife of your Pastor

She needs the strength that comes from your prayers. Pray that the Lord will send her friends/ or a friend that she can be "real" with. Pray that God will continue to give her strength and wisdom as she loves, supports,and encourages her husband; your Pastor. Pray that she will be able to focus on her first place of ministry: her home and all that that entails. Pray that she will be the woman God has called her to be: despite the expectations and criticism of others. Pray for her children. Pray for her walk with God; that it will grow stronger and her love for Him will grow deeper. Pray that the joy of the Lord will be her strength.

Sometimes You Have to Encourage Yourself in the Lord

Song of Deliverance

You lead me in paths of righteousness,
You show me the path of life.
In my heart there is love and joy unspeakable,
At the wayside lie jealousies, envy, and strife.

The enemy stood to accuse me,
To tell me these thoughts were my own.
I accepted fear, anxiety, and insecurity,
And welcomed them in my home.

There began the destruction,
The fight for the godly seed.
To make his mark on God’s creation,
Was the motivation of his evil deed.

But the light of Christ, The Word,
And the faithfulness of my Father above,
Have brought the TRUTH to my existence,
And have restored the foundations with LOVE.

The truth is that principalities and
Wicked rulers of this world,
Speak lies to men and women
And to every boy and girl.

To find agreement with their evil,
Fear, shame, and guilt.
To manifest ungodliness
In the church that Jesus built.

BUT GOD IS STRONGER
Than the evil that tempts me.
His love gives me the strength
To enter in the race.

To yield the Sword of Truth
And look the enemy in his face.
It is time for the Sons of God
To take their rightful place!

Lay aside every weight
And the sin that discourages me
Spirit of anxiety, spirit of fear,
Spirit of lies, I renounce you right here.

My Father has called me
To run this race with patience and to win.
So to agree with you any longer,
Truly, would be a sin.

The enemy thought that he had lamed me
To disqualify me from the race.
But Christ has come with healing in His wings,
To rest upon this place.

You see, He makes the lame to walk
And gives strength to feeble knees.
He makes straight paths for their feet.
And gives sight to those who can not see.

He has set before us the prize,
An incorruptible crown.
The weights no longer hinder
The sin lies lifeless, on the ground.

The battle has begun,
For the heart of mankind.
With whom do you align yourself?
To whom do you give your mind?

I align myself with Jesus
My heart, my soul, and mind.
The Kingdom of God shall rule me.
The VICTORY is mine!

January 29, 2008
Lisa R. Hill

Nine Basketball Games and No Hubby: Another Lesson in the Important versus the Urgent

Two games Thursday, one game Friday night, and six games Saturday and a hubby out of town for the weekend........this sounds like a recipe for exhaustion.

Not to mention, the reason my husband is out of town is because he is moving his parents here on Saturday and on Monday my dad and his family are coming to visit us for the first time since I moved from Iowa. There is grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and organizing to be done.

What to do? Well, after much deliberation, I decided to skip the games. It wasn't an easy decision because you know, we moms, think we can do it all and make it all happen. And we don't like disappointing our children. But what is important?

I finally decided that I am not supermom and I cannot do this all, and do it all well. Something would get short changed; the first being my ability to ward off frustration, fussing, and exhaustion. What is important is teaching the children that making sacrifices, like missing games that they really want to go to, for the opportunity to be a blessing to their grandparents is pleasing to God and a blessing to their mom and their selves. What is important is making the people who have raised us and cared for us all our lives (our parents) feel welcomed and loved.

By the way, the children weren't as disappointed as I thought they would be. They are a tremendous blessing to me. So maybe I should rename this blog: "One Mom, Seven Children, and a Clean and Peaceful Home".

Sidenote: Seven children because my niece is staying with us for the summer:-)

Time to Write My Own Review

You know there comes a time in life when you need to write your own review. Let me explain. This year we are trying a completely different home school curriculum and at first I was feeling a little uneasy about it because it just wasn't my style. See, ever since Justus was 2 years old I have been scouring the home school catalogs and websites for the best of the best curriculum. I have read many books and attended many workshops trying to find the best homeschooling philosophy to follow. Reading reviews by authors, other home school moms, and magazine editors. Reading the reviews really had an impact on whether I would purchase a certain book or not. Well, after we decided on our curriculum for the year, I went out there to all the reviews again, only to find that some people absolutely loved it and others utterly hated it!! Ugh! What to do? I really wanted the assurance that this curriculum would work for my family. When I mentioned this situation to Jonathan, he said,"Well, after we try it, we'll write our own review!" Wow! Suddenly my eyes were opened. How would I ever really know if this curriculum was a good fit for my family, if I didn't try it for myself first.

In other areas of my life I find myself doing the same thing; Looking for others approval of what I should do about this or that. How to cook, how to raise my children, how to be a pastor's wife, how to love my husband, how to schedule my day. Now don't get me wrong, I believe in gleaning wisdom from the mature people that God has placed in my life, but there just comes a time when I need to have confidence in that fact that the Lord is working in my life. There comes a season to acknowledge the Lord's grace and purpose for your life and walk in it. It's good and wise to eat the fruit of wisdom from others lives: but at some point it's time to bear your own fruit and allow your life to be a field that others can glean wisdom from. It's time to write my own review.

Thank you to my hubby, Jonathan, and my new friend, Dorsharica Jefferson for opening my eyes with your encouraging words. And by the way, in December I will be writing that curriculum review.

Important vs. Urgent: My Love List

I don't think that I completed all that was important today, but here is my Love-List (instead of To-Do list) for today:

1. Read a devotional this morning/I prayed for a friend as I watered the flowers this morning
2. Caught a grasshopper for Jude and talked to him about the GREAT CREATOR who created the little green grasshopper
3. Explained to Liberty that Jesus and His Father, Our Father, are One, as we read her bible together this morning.
4. Made my husband's lunch before I left the house for the day.
5. Looked into Laylah's beautiful brown eyes as I nursed her today
6. Coached my daughter and the rest of her basketball team. That was fun!
7. Harshly corrected my son and had to go back and apologize and ask his forgiveness.
8. Spent time laughing with friends today
9. Hugged my niece and told her that I loved her and that I was glad she came to visit us this summer.
10. Went outside with my children as they played in the water and Laylah in her baby pool.
11. Studied what is means to be an "older woman" (Titus 2)

Truth: It is such a blessing to be able to love and be loved.
Truth: As a wife and mother I am a life-giver.
Grace: I have a river of life flowing out of me.
Truth: I am called to love.
Grace: His love is shed abroad in my heart.
Truth:By His grace I can and will walk worthy of my calling.

Back to Life. Back to Reality

Well, it has been over a week, almost two, since my little sabbatical was over and I have not had a moment to blog. Well, maybe that is not entirely true. I'm learning that what you plan for and make a priority gets your attention and what you don't plan for well, it just doesn't even make it on the radar screen.

So much of my day is reactionary time. Reacting to "life": helping children with math, phone calls, refereeing squabbles, cleaning up spills, changing diapers, making lunch, finding my husband's keys, phone, etc., finding my keys, shoes, phone, etc. The second thing I am learning is to take the free moments (discretionary time) that I do have, to make sure that I am accomplishing the things that are really important. My notebook comes in handy for this. Sometimes my list for the day says: home school, pay bills, basketball practice, dinner, bible study. Other days my list simply says: Kiss all your babies today, tell them that you love them, take Jonathan's lunch to him in his office, tell him that you love him, be sweet, cook dinner by noon, don't complain, be sweet. It is different everyday.

I used to try and make a strict schedule that I followed everyday. You know the daily timer kind where you feel out what you are going to do all day in 30 minute increments. That just does not work for me because as soon as I am 1 hour behind I feel defeated. Instead, when I wake in the morning I ask the Lord what is it today that I should focus on. What is it that I am to accomplish for Him. I make a list and as the day goes by, I check off the things I have finished. At the end of the day, it feels so good to lie down on my pillow and know that I tended to the things that were of the highest priority. The rest will just have to wait for tomorrow's list!

Well, although my time of rest was needed and very much appreciated, I am glad to be back home with my hubby and children. Every night I crawl into bed and my head barely hits the pillow and I am off to La La Land. I am exhausted from the day of mothering, teaching, scrubbing, washing, and loving. I am spent at the end of each day, but it is so worth it to know that I have given all I have for the ones I love the most.

Day 2: Choosing life in my marriage

Yesterday, I had lunch with a new friend. She met me at my hotel and we drove down the street to a nearby restaurant. It was very busy, although the line was not to long. After we got our food we settled into a little corner booth and asked the Lord to bless our food for our bodies and our fellowship for our souls.

As we talked we shared our lives with each other. We talked about our children, family activities, nutrition, marriage, ministry, etc. We were all over the place. It was great! ( You ladies know what I mean) We shared about what the Lord is doing in our lives individually and how we love Him.

As we were discussing marriage and the challenges and blessings that come to it as a result of ministry, it was so obvious to me that this is where she shines. Not because she is boastful or prideful, but because her life is fruitful in this area. So, here the teaching began. In almost 21 years of marriage, she has never argued with her husband. Now I didn't say that they never have had conflict, but that she has not argued with her husband. I asked her, what does this look like and how did she get there.

She said it was a CHOICE to choose God's way. To honor her husband, to not say disrespectful things, or raise her voice at him in the midst of conflict. She said that it starts with a desire to please God, to obey His word as a wife. I confessed that I am the one in my relationship that usually begins an argument. Sometimes it is unintentional and other times....well other times it is intentional.

She encouraged me to love on my husband, especially in those times when I may be feeling a bit neglected by him. Both of our husbands are bi-vocational. They are pastors at our churches and hold down full time jobs. That leaves little time for sitting on the couch and cuddling. My friend's suggestion to me was instead of withdrawing and withholding when my husband has been extra busy, I should draw him in. Love on him, sit on his lap, call him just to tell him that I love him, by him a special treat, PRAY for him.

And oh how this blesses our children. It makes them want to bless their daddy too. And by the way, it endears the children's heart to their mother also. My friend's children love their parents. It shows! And guess what? They are teenagers.

The Lord is faithful to direct our steps. I got to know a new friend better and learned a lesson in choosing life for my marriage. The lesson was to choose to love my husband at all times. To honor him, obey (yes, it is what the Word says) and respect him. Seek to be a blessing and not to be blessed. To bless my children by loving their daddy, holding my tongue, and instead let the law of kindness be on my tongue.



Lisa......

Day 1: Choose Life

I was awakened this morning by two little feet, pressing into my side. Laylah was doing her usual morning stretch, only this time she was in the bed with Mommy. Since the clocks in my hotel room are blinking the wrong time, I decided to turn on the t.v. to catch the morning news and find out what time it was. This leads to some channel surfing: a little news, a little exercise promo, a little TLC. You get the idea. Finally, I feed Laylah, get her cleaned up and dressed and then myself, and prepare to go downstairs to catch breakfast. Before I go, I stop to kneel at the bed and FINALLy acknowledge God. I ask Him to direct my steps this weekend and help me to be wise with this rare and special time.

So here I am. We've eaten breakfast. Laylah is taking her morning nap. It's just me and the Lord. And I am always amazed at the intimacy of the Lord. How he knows me so well and is so faithful to speak to my heart the encouragement that it needs.

I felt led to listen to Nancy Leigh De Moss at http://www.reviveourhearts.com/ . She is teaching a series on the Life of Joshua; about how the Lord set before His people blessings and cursings, life and death. While listening to the message and taking notes, I was taken aback. She began sharing from Deuteromy 30:15-20. The message was good, but now I am alert , the Lord has definitely got my attention.

See, some months ago the Lord impressed this scripture on my heart. I told my husband that this was the scripture that I needed to focus on in this season in my life. "I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, [that] I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: " Deut 30:19. Since then through different people, messages, and His word this same scripture has been repetively set before me.

God has given me the desire to be a life giver. I say this because, if left to myself, I can be a bit pessimistic and a complainer. But when God gets a hold of your heart things are not what they used to be. Praise God! I thank God for being a woman and the privilege of being a vessel to bring life into the world, but in all that I do, in my daily life as a wife and mother, and when I encounter others along the way, I want to impart the life of God. It's practical and real and relevant to every area of our lives. From how we show love and compassion to our little ones when they break a dish for the third time in one week, to how we handle conflict with family, friends, and c0-workers, to how we love our spouses. This will be my legacy to my daughters and sons, and my grandchildren when I am a little old lady some day.

Well, I have my direction for the weekend. Can't wait to see what else the Lord has to say. Gotta go Babycakes is waking from her nap.

Lisa

What am I gonna do?

Really. My husband twisted my arm and made me take a weekend in a hotel. Just me and Babycakes (a.ka. Laylah). No cooking, no laundry, no homeschool lessons, no, no........ anything.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

I know it is good for me to take a break every once in awhile. To have some alone time to refresh and rejuvinate. But............it feels weird. That is probably why I am still awake at 2:36 in the morning.

Despite all that, I hope to spend some time with the Lord, praying, reading, and hearing from Him. I need my tank filled so, that I can go back to my family strengthened in heart and spirit. So many times I let the cares of this world override my need for Him.

My mind is going so fast, that when I sit down to read God's word, I cannot comprehend it. Sometimes settling down my mind and taking my thoughts captive, are like taming a wild mustang or putting on the brakes of a locomotive. It ain't easy!

But its worth it!

More tomorrow....................................

"Only by the grace of God": Cliche or Truth

As I walk up to the check out line and prepare to unload my groceries from my cart, with the help of 10 eager hands ( of course), 9 times out of ten, after I am greeted with a, "Hello, how are you today? Did you find everything you were looking for?", I am asked the question. "Are these all yours? (referring to my 10 helpful hands). Sometimes the voice behind the counter is kind and others times rude, but all the time it is full of pity, as though they feel sorry for me. And inevitably the confession that follows the question is, "I don't know how you do it. I just have two and I can't handle them".

There was I time that I did not know how to answer the clerks. Besides saying "Yes, they are all mine" and "No, I don't have a daycare", I was tongue tied. How could I let them know that I am not supermom and some days are hard. But also let them know that those 10 little hands (soon to be 12 hands as soon as Laylah is big enough to throw an orange on the conveyor belt) bring joy to my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. I would go home and tell family and friends about my experience and ask them what they would have said. The most common response was, "Tell them that it's God's grace that helps you". Hmmmmmmm....well, it sounded good, but I am not one to throw around Christian cliches. I have to know what I am saying is true. I don't want to leave someone with something that just sounds good or worse, just sounds like a "religious" phrase. And I know that what I want to say to someone after having been asked the same question for the 100th time, would probably not glorify my Father. So I had to think about it. Is it true, was it His grace that helped me? And if so, what exactly did that mean?

So, I continued to smile and nod my head yes, to the men and women at the cash register. I tried to tell them that it was God's grace, but some how the words just fell to the floor. Empty. Until one day while a was reading Titus Chapter 2, I read past the exhortation to older and younger women and I found my answer. In verses 11 and 12 it states, "For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, TEACHING us that, denying ungodliness and worldy lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world,". Oh my goodness, there was my answer. That's it! The grace of God TEACHES me. It teaches me how to be a mommy that glorifies Him. He teaches me by His grace, to love the way He loves. He teaches me how to deny ungodliness and to choose His way. He teaches me not to cry or yell over spilled milk. He teaches me to open my mouth with wisdom and to let the law of kindness rule my tongue. Oh my God, thank You for Your grace.

Twelve years ago, I was pregnant with my first born son. I remember being 8 months pregnant and on my hands and knees in the new Noah's Ark nursery, crying. I was so scared that I would not know how to be a mom. That I would ruin my child because I would not know how to love him because of my childhood. How would I ever teach him to avoid the mistakes and sins of my past, I thought. Well, now that baby will be twelve years old this summer and he has five younger siblings and I can truly say that, "only by the grace of God" have I been able to love my babies with the love of God. To ask their forgiveness when I have been wrong. God's grace is greater than my past. His grace and love has turned my selfishness into a willingness to be completely spent for them. Yeah, sometimes I complain that I don't have anytime for myself or that I am never caught up on laundry or anything else for that matter, but His grace pulls me back in and teaches me to look at the great purpose I have as a mother and I realize how blessed I truly am. And even better still, that grace is extended to my children and He will teach them by His grace, just as He has taught and is teaching me.

So the next time I'm at the check out line and am asked "the question", my reply won't fall to the ground. But will be a resounding, " Only by the grace of God. Would you like to know His grace too?", because it's not just a cliche.........its TRUTH.