Back to Life. Back to Reality

Well, it has been over a week, almost two, since my little sabbatical was over and I have not had a moment to blog. Well, maybe that is not entirely true. I'm learning that what you plan for and make a priority gets your attention and what you don't plan for well, it just doesn't even make it on the radar screen.

So much of my day is reactionary time. Reacting to "life": helping children with math, phone calls, refereeing squabbles, cleaning up spills, changing diapers, making lunch, finding my husband's keys, phone, etc., finding my keys, shoes, phone, etc. The second thing I am learning is to take the free moments (discretionary time) that I do have, to make sure that I am accomplishing the things that are really important. My notebook comes in handy for this. Sometimes my list for the day says: home school, pay bills, basketball practice, dinner, bible study. Other days my list simply says: Kiss all your babies today, tell them that you love them, take Jonathan's lunch to him in his office, tell him that you love him, be sweet, cook dinner by noon, don't complain, be sweet. It is different everyday.

I used to try and make a strict schedule that I followed everyday. You know the daily timer kind where you feel out what you are going to do all day in 30 minute increments. That just does not work for me because as soon as I am 1 hour behind I feel defeated. Instead, when I wake in the morning I ask the Lord what is it today that I should focus on. What is it that I am to accomplish for Him. I make a list and as the day goes by, I check off the things I have finished. At the end of the day, it feels so good to lie down on my pillow and know that I tended to the things that were of the highest priority. The rest will just have to wait for tomorrow's list!

Well, although my time of rest was needed and very much appreciated, I am glad to be back home with my hubby and children. Every night I crawl into bed and my head barely hits the pillow and I am off to La La Land. I am exhausted from the day of mothering, teaching, scrubbing, washing, and loving. I am spent at the end of each day, but it is so worth it to know that I have given all I have for the ones I love the most.

Day 2: Choosing life in my marriage

Yesterday, I had lunch with a new friend. She met me at my hotel and we drove down the street to a nearby restaurant. It was very busy, although the line was not to long. After we got our food we settled into a little corner booth and asked the Lord to bless our food for our bodies and our fellowship for our souls.

As we talked we shared our lives with each other. We talked about our children, family activities, nutrition, marriage, ministry, etc. We were all over the place. It was great! ( You ladies know what I mean) We shared about what the Lord is doing in our lives individually and how we love Him.

As we were discussing marriage and the challenges and blessings that come to it as a result of ministry, it was so obvious to me that this is where she shines. Not because she is boastful or prideful, but because her life is fruitful in this area. So, here the teaching began. In almost 21 years of marriage, she has never argued with her husband. Now I didn't say that they never have had conflict, but that she has not argued with her husband. I asked her, what does this look like and how did she get there.

She said it was a CHOICE to choose God's way. To honor her husband, to not say disrespectful things, or raise her voice at him in the midst of conflict. She said that it starts with a desire to please God, to obey His word as a wife. I confessed that I am the one in my relationship that usually begins an argument. Sometimes it is unintentional and other times....well other times it is intentional.

She encouraged me to love on my husband, especially in those times when I may be feeling a bit neglected by him. Both of our husbands are bi-vocational. They are pastors at our churches and hold down full time jobs. That leaves little time for sitting on the couch and cuddling. My friend's suggestion to me was instead of withdrawing and withholding when my husband has been extra busy, I should draw him in. Love on him, sit on his lap, call him just to tell him that I love him, by him a special treat, PRAY for him.

And oh how this blesses our children. It makes them want to bless their daddy too. And by the way, it endears the children's heart to their mother also. My friend's children love their parents. It shows! And guess what? They are teenagers.

The Lord is faithful to direct our steps. I got to know a new friend better and learned a lesson in choosing life for my marriage. The lesson was to choose to love my husband at all times. To honor him, obey (yes, it is what the Word says) and respect him. Seek to be a blessing and not to be blessed. To bless my children by loving their daddy, holding my tongue, and instead let the law of kindness be on my tongue.



Lisa......

Day 1: Choose Life

I was awakened this morning by two little feet, pressing into my side. Laylah was doing her usual morning stretch, only this time she was in the bed with Mommy. Since the clocks in my hotel room are blinking the wrong time, I decided to turn on the t.v. to catch the morning news and find out what time it was. This leads to some channel surfing: a little news, a little exercise promo, a little TLC. You get the idea. Finally, I feed Laylah, get her cleaned up and dressed and then myself, and prepare to go downstairs to catch breakfast. Before I go, I stop to kneel at the bed and FINALLy acknowledge God. I ask Him to direct my steps this weekend and help me to be wise with this rare and special time.

So here I am. We've eaten breakfast. Laylah is taking her morning nap. It's just me and the Lord. And I am always amazed at the intimacy of the Lord. How he knows me so well and is so faithful to speak to my heart the encouragement that it needs.

I felt led to listen to Nancy Leigh De Moss at http://www.reviveourhearts.com/ . She is teaching a series on the Life of Joshua; about how the Lord set before His people blessings and cursings, life and death. While listening to the message and taking notes, I was taken aback. She began sharing from Deuteromy 30:15-20. The message was good, but now I am alert , the Lord has definitely got my attention.

See, some months ago the Lord impressed this scripture on my heart. I told my husband that this was the scripture that I needed to focus on in this season in my life. "I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, [that] I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: " Deut 30:19. Since then through different people, messages, and His word this same scripture has been repetively set before me.

God has given me the desire to be a life giver. I say this because, if left to myself, I can be a bit pessimistic and a complainer. But when God gets a hold of your heart things are not what they used to be. Praise God! I thank God for being a woman and the privilege of being a vessel to bring life into the world, but in all that I do, in my daily life as a wife and mother, and when I encounter others along the way, I want to impart the life of God. It's practical and real and relevant to every area of our lives. From how we show love and compassion to our little ones when they break a dish for the third time in one week, to how we handle conflict with family, friends, and c0-workers, to how we love our spouses. This will be my legacy to my daughters and sons, and my grandchildren when I am a little old lady some day.

Well, I have my direction for the weekend. Can't wait to see what else the Lord has to say. Gotta go Babycakes is waking from her nap.

Lisa

What am I gonna do?

Really. My husband twisted my arm and made me take a weekend in a hotel. Just me and Babycakes (a.ka. Laylah). No cooking, no laundry, no homeschool lessons, no, no........ anything.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

I know it is good for me to take a break every once in awhile. To have some alone time to refresh and rejuvinate. But............it feels weird. That is probably why I am still awake at 2:36 in the morning.

Despite all that, I hope to spend some time with the Lord, praying, reading, and hearing from Him. I need my tank filled so, that I can go back to my family strengthened in heart and spirit. So many times I let the cares of this world override my need for Him.

My mind is going so fast, that when I sit down to read God's word, I cannot comprehend it. Sometimes settling down my mind and taking my thoughts captive, are like taming a wild mustang or putting on the brakes of a locomotive. It ain't easy!

But its worth it!

More tomorrow....................................

"Only by the grace of God": Cliche or Truth

As I walk up to the check out line and prepare to unload my groceries from my cart, with the help of 10 eager hands ( of course), 9 times out of ten, after I am greeted with a, "Hello, how are you today? Did you find everything you were looking for?", I am asked the question. "Are these all yours? (referring to my 10 helpful hands). Sometimes the voice behind the counter is kind and others times rude, but all the time it is full of pity, as though they feel sorry for me. And inevitably the confession that follows the question is, "I don't know how you do it. I just have two and I can't handle them".

There was I time that I did not know how to answer the clerks. Besides saying "Yes, they are all mine" and "No, I don't have a daycare", I was tongue tied. How could I let them know that I am not supermom and some days are hard. But also let them know that those 10 little hands (soon to be 12 hands as soon as Laylah is big enough to throw an orange on the conveyor belt) bring joy to my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. I would go home and tell family and friends about my experience and ask them what they would have said. The most common response was, "Tell them that it's God's grace that helps you". Hmmmmmmm....well, it sounded good, but I am not one to throw around Christian cliches. I have to know what I am saying is true. I don't want to leave someone with something that just sounds good or worse, just sounds like a "religious" phrase. And I know that what I want to say to someone after having been asked the same question for the 100th time, would probably not glorify my Father. So I had to think about it. Is it true, was it His grace that helped me? And if so, what exactly did that mean?

So, I continued to smile and nod my head yes, to the men and women at the cash register. I tried to tell them that it was God's grace, but some how the words just fell to the floor. Empty. Until one day while a was reading Titus Chapter 2, I read past the exhortation to older and younger women and I found my answer. In verses 11 and 12 it states, "For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, TEACHING us that, denying ungodliness and worldy lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world,". Oh my goodness, there was my answer. That's it! The grace of God TEACHES me. It teaches me how to be a mommy that glorifies Him. He teaches me by His grace, to love the way He loves. He teaches me how to deny ungodliness and to choose His way. He teaches me not to cry or yell over spilled milk. He teaches me to open my mouth with wisdom and to let the law of kindness rule my tongue. Oh my God, thank You for Your grace.

Twelve years ago, I was pregnant with my first born son. I remember being 8 months pregnant and on my hands and knees in the new Noah's Ark nursery, crying. I was so scared that I would not know how to be a mom. That I would ruin my child because I would not know how to love him because of my childhood. How would I ever teach him to avoid the mistakes and sins of my past, I thought. Well, now that baby will be twelve years old this summer and he has five younger siblings and I can truly say that, "only by the grace of God" have I been able to love my babies with the love of God. To ask their forgiveness when I have been wrong. God's grace is greater than my past. His grace and love has turned my selfishness into a willingness to be completely spent for them. Yeah, sometimes I complain that I don't have anytime for myself or that I am never caught up on laundry or anything else for that matter, but His grace pulls me back in and teaches me to look at the great purpose I have as a mother and I realize how blessed I truly am. And even better still, that grace is extended to my children and He will teach them by His grace, just as He has taught and is teaching me.

So the next time I'm at the check out line and am asked "the question", my reply won't fall to the ground. But will be a resounding, " Only by the grace of God. Would you like to know His grace too?", because it's not just a cliche.........its TRUTH.